Patch Me Up

Over the last few weeks I've had a really hard time with my stomach with lots of abdominal cramping, loss of appetite, diarrhoea, blood etc, and to be honest I'm a little concerned about it.

Last night I was talking this through with a friend and we came up with a few possibilities, could  it be inflammatory bowel disease as suggested by one of my consultants? Could the shear amount of medication I take each day be wreaking havoc on my body? Could it be something to do with my bowel endometriosis? And that's when it hit me, the cold truth that I actually seem to fall apart a little more each year.

I liken my situation to that of a rubber tyre or some other form of inflatable, one that has been punctured on more than one occasion. Each time a new puncture is found, it's just quickly patched up with a puncture repair kit. In my case, every time I develop a new symptom or suffer the side-effects of a medication I'm taking, my doctors simply patch me up with a different medication. My sort of patch generally lasts a couple of months, or a year or two at best until things are re-assessed and another is applied (especially when it comes to hormone treatment for endometriosis). Unlike an inflatable though, after so many punctures, you cannot pop down to the shops to buy another me!

I'd be lying if I said that this revelation doesn't scare me, sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by it all. How many more punctures does a girl have to endure?! At the moment my mind just cannot comprehend being like this every day for the rest of my life, and to be honest I don't think it ever will. I can only ever think so many weeks ahead or I end up over thinking things and get caught up in "analysis paralysis" and my thoughts begin to snowball. I very much doubt that a cure for my conditions will be found anytime soon, but I live in hope that there will at least be a better patch.